is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
