Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
too bad you live with your parents still
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
