If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
