dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize