Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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