Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
