those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
