Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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