worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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