girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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