D3 body, D1 cock
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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