She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Randomize
