they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
