Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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