You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize