What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
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