It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
