all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
