12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
