Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
So squirting runs in the family.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
