Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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