How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize