i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
