I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
