Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
