I heard we made out
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Still dying that you shit outside
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
