u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
