after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
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I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
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Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
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