another moral hangover. fuck.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
