I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
