just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I just googled if crying burns calories
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
