no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
