She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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