i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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