Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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