the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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