you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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