You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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