I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
