So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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