Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize