If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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