I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
it glows. i had to have it.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
