THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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