worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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