I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
She even gives head with a lisp.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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