at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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