That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
