the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
FUCK WHALES
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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