mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
