you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
