a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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