I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
