there's paper in my vomit.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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