Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
