dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
