their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
