No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
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I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
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I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day