I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
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he's gonorrhea incarnate
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
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Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.